I live in my world. My Utopia. I call it Wonderland. In Wonderland, I am not Minjin but Alice. When I was little, people called me Alice. And that became my name. Sometimes I want to go back to Alice. I learned how to laugh and cry at Wonderland. And choose my color. I change according to my mood. My color is blue now. I write when I’m blue. If any writing can change my color, I will try anything. I am honestly sad. I live in Wonderland, but I forgot how to be Alice. I've lost a part of myself. I forgot what Alice did. I want to go back to Alice, not Minjin. When I didn't know anything, I walked under the blue sky and laughed and chatted thoughtlessly. After 50 years I'll want to go back to the present. I said "when I was breathing." I hope my death is not lonely. If I am consoled by many people, I do not want to leave, but I wish I had the treasures I have accumulated. I have to decorate my world because Wonderland has many things yet. But it's too hard. Not long ago, I gave advice to many friends. I have not lived long but I talked about the difference between living as Alice in Wonderland and Minjin. But today I ended up sitting down. I'm black now. I want to empty my mind. If I paint my world's Wonderland black, it'll turn into space. I have to draw a star in black space. There's no color to draw the stars yet, so I have to find them.You'll find out if you look at the colors. Maybe I'm not even starting. I want to live like black, but the moment I leave Wonderland, I will be colored differently. I don't know why I don't like the color when it mixes mixed. This could be one of the ways to get back to Alice. I wonder where Alice went and if Minjin is right.